The Happiness Patrol

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The Happiness Patrol


Pages 144
ISBN 0-426-20322-4
Publication Date 16 March 1989


I would also like to take this opportunity to squash the persistent rumours about mysterious “disappearances” and emphasise that rural and urban areas are now enjoying a life of harmony and peace. I’m sure you’re glad to hear this. And I’m happy you’re glad.

Helen A, rulerof colony Terra Alpha, is determined that happiness will prevail.

And if any killjoys insist on being miserable, the fun guns of the Happiness Patrol will remove them, or they will vanish into the Kandy Kitchen, where the Kandy Man will deal with them.

When The Doctor and Ace spend a night in the dark streets of Terra Alpha they have to keep a smile on their faces – or else! – While making contact with the native Pipe People and trying to convince the colonists that they can have too much of a good thing – even sweets and happiness.



  • Chapter One
  • Chapter Two
  • Chapter Three
  • Chapter Four
  • Chapter Five
  • Chapter Six
  • Chapter Seven
  • Chapter Eight
  • Chapter Nine
  • Chapter Ten
  • Chapter Eleven
  • Chapter Twelve
  • Chapter Thirteen
  • Chapter Fourteen
  • Chapter Fifteen


  • The text of the novelisation is based on Graeme Curry’s rehearsal scripts for the televised version, thus reinstating a lot of deleted material.
  • Graeme Curry based the description of the Kandy Man on that contained in the rehearsal scripts, rather than as it was seen on television, thus skilfully avoiding the Bertie Bassett/Kandy Man controversy that arose after the story had been broadcast..

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